Silent Night

Open heart, sky so bright;
almost like a silent night.

A sudden mist, across my face;
must I run, or just embrace?

Open sky, shines so bright;
it is anything but, a silent night.

I hear it again, oh so clear;
"Come, sweet child, please draw near."

Open heart, filled with light;
brings sweet release; yearning for, my silent night.

Blog-a-logging

Man, I did so good for like a week! haha Here it is December 4th, and my big 'ole baby is 7 months old! Check out this little cutie patutie!

My little guy is getting so big! 5 teeth. Saying Mommamamama, Dadadada, duck, quack, pig, up, & possibly God - what can I say... he's holy! hahahaha My dad also claims he can say Chugington... but, nobody else has heard him say that one. :) He's a sweet little guy, and ornery as can be. I'm excited to celebrate this holiday season with a baby in the family!

"But the Lord was gracious..."

Isn't that like the Lord? This is the beginning of 2 Kings 13:23, "But the Lord was gracious..."

Since the sentence starts with a "But" one can assume that the words before were contrary to the words that were going to follow. God's grace in it's most common form - obnoxious, undeserved, irrational.

I've been getting daily devotionals emailed to me from Moody Bible Institute and they have been going through the book of 2 Kings. I know, 2 Kinds, OT (no, not over time, Old Testament), snoozefest, right? Quite opposite, Elijah gets swept up into Heaven, Jezebel gets mauled by wild dogs - I recommend giving it a whirl! Anways, their verse was "But the LORD was gracious to them and had compassion and showed concern for them because of his covenant with them" This verse couldn't have topped off my morning any better... I was kind of crabby before I left for work this morning, and it was a morning I had to drop Will off at the babysitters. We always pray, well, I pray and Will was sleeping, and I was speaking to God candidly and confessing that my heart and my mind were in way, shape, or form aligned. As I was wrapping up my prayers I was just thanking the Holy Spirit for interceding on our behalf, and I felt peaceful and hopeful.

Fast forward a few hours, I'm at work, and Bo sends me an email, like he usually does, and asks me to pray for a meeting he was going to have with a student. I emailed him back, and told him I already did! While Will and I were praying on our way to work, I prayed for Bo & that he would have an opportunity to share God's grace, love, and truth with his students today! The Holy Spirit was using me to intercede on Bo's behalf! How cool is that? It was a refreshing moment for me and my walk with God - something that I had also prayed for that morning!

Psalm 147:1 Praise the Lord, How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise him!

A Widow's Story

2 Kings 4

Elisha and the Widow’s Oil

¹Now the wife of one of the sons of the prophets cried to Elisha, "Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the LORD, but the creditor has come to take my two children to be his slaves." ²And Elisha said to her, "What shall I do for you? Tell me; what have you in the house?" And she said, "Your servant has nothing in the house except a jar of oil." ³Then he said, "Go outside, borrow vessels from all your neighbors, empty vessels and not too few. ⁴Then go in and shut the door behind yourself and your sons and pour into all these vessels. And when one is full, set it aside." ⁵So she went from him and shut the door behind herself and her sons. And as she poured they brought the vessels to her. ⁶When the vessels were full, she said to her son, "Bring me another vessel." And he said to her, "There is not another." Then the oil stopped flowing. ⁷She came and told the man of God, and he said, "Go, sell the oil and pay your debts, and you and your sons can live on the rest."

Events of the Bible, like the one above, reinforce that God not only provides what we need - he provides in abundance. Unfortunately, I can't say that I believe that. I want to, but if I'm taking an honest look at my heart and actions, I do not. Sounds silly doesn't it? "God, forgive me for my disbelief and please increase my faith?"

This story also makes me remember my friends in a far off land. I often forget that there are people around the world who's lives and circumstances can reflect the same scenario above - a widow, with children, left to provide in a culture where she has no status, respect, or significance (other than to bear children). I think of my friends, and I miss them. I wonder what their lives will bring, or how they have changed since I met them 2 years ago. I will probably never see them again... even if we went back, they would probably be difficult to track down. If they ever become widow's they will spend their day's on the dusty dirt roads begging for charity. They have no status in their society. I hope they find Jesus, and His provision! He still performs tangible miracles like he did back in the day of the Kings. "God, find them, and draw them to you. May they see you and allow You to provide for them!"

One day...

Revelation 18:2
"Fallen, fallen is Babylon the great!"

These words put me at ease, and stir my heart for what's to come. Peace, rest, and celebration await us!!!!

Pop Culture

A Year in the Making

I can't remember what it was, but something happened a couple of days ago that caused me to stop & think about what was going on in my life last year at this time. I am normally a person who loves to reflect on the past, what God has done, and how He has brought me to where I'm at today, but when reflecting over this past year (I know you're thinking, Is it new year's or something?) it is extremely bittersweet. I digress...

Let's start with bitter, because I would rather end on a positive note of saweetness! Day's after finding out Bo & I were pregnant (after over a year of trying) we were told that Bo had a rare, most likely malignant, type of cancer. So what was I doing last year at this time? Making trips up to the University of Michigan's cancer unit for Bo's tests and surgery. I should go ahead an mention now, instead of making you wait till the 'Sweet' section that the specialists said Bo did NOT have cancer! I will never forget a couple of conversations that I had with God during that time. I will never forget the peace that I received from God at that time. And I will never ever forget how I almost vomited as I was thinking how wrong it was that I we were driving through the hospital/airport like roads following the signs to the cancer wing. I'm not gonna lie, I was mad at God at times. I didn't understand. However, I always claimed God's sovereignty and goodness. I remembered his faithfulness.

Second bitter/hard thing from this past year... my walk with God has reached all new levels this year! Unfortunately, not a good way, or at least it doesn't feel like it's a good thing. Prefacing this with, I was pregnant for the majority of the year, and unsure of the role my hormones played in the whole scenario (but I believe God is in control of all things, including my hormones) - I have never "felt" God's presence less in my life than this past year. Which really bums me out. One because I still feel that way; and two, because I was experiencing pregnancy for the first time. I had always imagined/dreamed of being pregnant, and had this vision of sweet hours (literally) of prayer for my unborn babe. I thought I would experience a closeness to God more than I ever had before - I mean it truly is a miraculous event of one's body & soul being knit together inside of you. But no, didn't "feel" it. Can you tell I'm very consumed by my feelings??? :) I'm grateful to God for blessing me with a mother who lifted (and continues to) my sweet baby boy up in prayer!

Ok, onto the Sweetness!!! You know that precious baby I've mentioned above! He is my sweetness!!!! I have never experienced a miracle that has blown me away more than having a child. I know that God does supernatural bonding and unifying when you marry your spouse, but the experience of child birth, and becoming a mom has brought a whole new meaning to the word miracle! Bo & I love and adore Will, and love watching him grow and learn how to do more things. Becoming a mom has opened my eyes to God's tender, fierce, jealous love for His children!

I don't know what God is up to, but I know it's ultimately going to be for His glory. I believe that part of journeying with God is being refined - that whole "dying to self" concept the Bible talks about. Not always fun. Definitely not always easy. But in God's infinite, obnoxious grace, it brings great joy and satisfaction to the soul. As our pastor often says - may I become less, so that He may become more.

Jeremiah 29
¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.